I’d rather you didn’t, honestly. You write to me, I have to write back, you think you should reply, and then the whole terrible cycle starts again. It severely impacts on my valuable eating biscuits and writing time, so it’s easier if we just don’t get started, eh?

Remember: R.E.A.D. stands for Rarely Ever Answers Door.

If you feel you absolutely must, or have offers of actual money or commercial interest, then they may be addressed to my long-suffering colleagues at Improper Books contact@improperbooks.com.

(But it’s probably best not to, honestly)

(If, however, you are a nice child who has read our books and wants human contact with a lovely children’s author, then do please write to my partner-in-literary crime, Trindles. She is the non-grumpy one and actually likes post)

Social media: